LUCID NIGHTMARES | WINTER

LUCID DREAMS NIGHTMARES

W I N T E R (final chapter)

     I wake up gasping for breath. I’m drowning. It’s the middle of the night and I’m drowning. Now I’m in quicksand and I’m sinking fast. Drowning is one of the worst deaths imaginable. You watch helplessly as your life is snuffed out.

     I wake up, unable to move or speak. My torment has began. I am frightened to sleep, I do not want to be awake either. I can hear life happening all around me but I’m stuck. I’m screaming but no one can hear me cause in reality my mouth is shut. Sleep paralysis. No, I am paralyzed. My voice has been stolen from me. I say to myself daily, what a strong woman I am but I feel weak. Like I’ve been through a physical fight and lost.

     Once again he had disappeared. This time I wasn’t as calm. I was exasperated. Spring was supposed to come after fall this time. But no, winter comes after fall. And this was a cold one.

     Four seasons texted. Hope rang clear in my eyes. “I don’t want to do this anymore”. I must’ve stared at the words for so long because they began to jump out the screen and surround me. I felt faint, confused, and angry. With those words, we were over and for the last time this year, I died. The daisy wilted.

Now I lay awake, unable to move or speak.

I forgive you.

I forgive myself.

Lucid dreams - Juice WRLD