To The Man With No Soul.

To The Man With No Soul.

     

Owen,

     “You walk around with your armor. Your expensive suits. You believe you are better because you wear expensive armor. I have seen you without that armor, and beneath that armor you are nothing more than I am. Human.”

I met Owen at an art exhibition. He was charming and seemed to just naturally command respect. It was sexy. He was a bit older, a bit grey with a piercing stare. He picked an interest in me instantly as I knew he would and we instantly hit it off.

He was witty and quick. Never flinched at my words, always had a wickedly amazing retaliation. He would wrestle with me and laugh at my dark humor. He would gossip with me. I most of all enjoyed his cooking, he had a talent for it. One thing I would say was truest of all was that he was himself with me, bare. I loved to hold him in my arms when we lay in bed and he loved to give me tiny kisses all over. His scent was clean, a bit woody. His kisses were soft yet firm. Whenever his name popped up on my screen my heart would actually become glad. Speaking to him could actually turn my worst day into the best day. He makes my heart smile. Yes, I was doomed.

Owen was odd, fascinating and cold. He enthralled me. It was like he was my kryptonite. Yet, I do not believe I was in love with him. I am one of his joys and he mine. I am his peace and he mine.

I must confess however, I do have destructive tendencies. As time went on, I began to get more and more in my head. I believed he wasn’t as committed as I was and it annoyed me. We would have the same discussion over and over again and I would remain unsatisfied. He grew weary and I grew impatient. Soon enough the calls stopped. So did the visits. You see, there was one thing I couldn’t seem to shake about him, his coolness, to everyone and everything but me. He was as cold as metal. A robot you could say. It was almost cruel the way he smiled at me. His ability to flip a switch was truly astounding, one which I never learned unfortunately.

I command attention but the one I actually want. He prioritized his work over everything and everyone. His work was his true partner, his true love. Every other thing and person dulled in comparison and I am not good at being number two. So I chose me and he chose his work, after all he had his armor, who could hurt him.

You would think it would be easy to walk away from a weakness, you’d be wrong. For every step I took forward, I took two backwards.

     “I want to break your armor. I am going to break your armor. And you’ll know you’re just like me. Human.”

-Magnolia